The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
