So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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