She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
