cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
