They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
