I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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