i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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