also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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