DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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