Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
