...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
