Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
