Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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