There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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