why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
