Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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