a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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