I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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