You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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