Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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