I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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