i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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