so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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