Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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