sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
