it hurts more in the daytime
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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