I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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