I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...