pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion