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HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Randomize
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