i was born a porn star she said
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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