Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
