Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
