I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
