Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
