I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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