Ambien. No doubt about it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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