ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
im on a boat
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