You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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