I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
