We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize