his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize