that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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