Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
