yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
