Your dad touched me again.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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