Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
