Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize