Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
