she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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