i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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