I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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