whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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