found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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