He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize