I'm drive I can fine osifer
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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