Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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