Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
